Day 4 & 5: Dieting shouldn't always be measured in pounds but also in Shame

Day’s 4 & 5

I combined these two days because they were simply a haze of dramatic silliness that rendered nearly impossible to either:  a) diet & b) write anything.  Stress is a big motivator for me eating.  When I’m stressed out and see a Snickers bar, it’s hard not to shove the whole thing in my mouth while unwrapping another.  Luckily, I didn’t give in.  I’ve stuck hardcore with this stupid God-forsaken diet.  I’m not seeing a whole lot of results on the scale but I am in the clothes.  I pulled a pair of shorts out from a couple of years ago that I hadn’t been able to wear in a while and slid them right on.  I’m able to go another notch in my belt and my pants are sliding down my flat butt.  So yeah, it’s working but I’m not having fun.  Timothy Ferriss, the author of this diet, stated in his book that he finds that most people on this diet think it is fun.  Hey Tim, I’m not having a good time yet!!  You didn’t include anything in the book about stress eating.  Although, God bless you, you did give us a cheat day and that day is creeping up very soon. 

In his book, The 4 Hour Body, he states on your cheat day, which is to be 5 to 7 days after you start the diet, that there are no restrictions.  None.  He talks about how he’ll sit and eat an entire sausage pizza and a box of doughnuts and drink some beer.  I don’t know if I’ll go that far out on my cheat day because I’m about twice the size of Ferriss, but I know for sure I’ll be getting a candy bar or two, some Nutella, and a freakin’ bacon cheeseburger.  The thing of it is though; Katie does not get a cheat day.  On this day I have to be incognito and not do any of my cheating in front of her.  She is having a heck of a time with her diet to the point on day 5 that she started throwing up.

It’s hard to tell whether she is sick from the lack of food, the stress, or a stomach bug.  I think it’s a combination of all three.  Stress always seems to make her sick and luckily for us, stress comes by the boatload in our family.  I’m currently writing this on day 6 and she is doing a little better but she is not getting to eat, in my opinion, nearly enough but she has lost 14 lbs. which she is pretty stoked about.  I’m not checking my weight daily because I’m sure it would just discourage me and make me want to binge eat.  Instead, I am just checking myself out in the mirror each morning to see if I’m any less disgusted with myself.  Day’s 4 & 5 didn’t really show me that much difference, I’m still disgusted with me but ever so slightly less grossed out.  So I guess that is progress, right?

So, what did I learn these two days?

·         Dieting should not only be measured in pounds but also in shame

·         My Cheat day cannot come soon enough